I want to build life with a woman
I want to come home to her
and feel like I’m not alone in this world
I want to cook for her
clean up after dinner
or the next morning
life makes more sense
when there’s more than one in the house
I understand commitment
I understand hardships
I want to struggle, then strive together
A woman and a woman
to me, it is no less than a man and a woman
I want to live together
I want to grow together
When I was younger
it was about keeping it a secret
Now,
I have the audacity
to work towards a life with a woman

Ball

basketball means so much to me
it took me out of a small, rural town
when im down, when i frown
it remains a constant
something so important in my forever shifting days
i defied all odds
everyone told me i could not be good
everyone. my family, my high school teachers, my friends
it carried me through
at some point i began to lose confidence
after overcoming so much barrier
i question my own competance
but it does not undermine the significance
of my forever constant
something that will forever exist in my life
i dont know if i would still call it passion
because ive grown to realize other extremely important things in life
but it is my love
my mentor
my teacher
my first milestone
my first heartbreak
my one and only
it is love
and it will carry me through
no matter how much i struggle
no matter how tired i become
it will. and it is.

Woman

toss and turn, cant sleep
so i turn to my comfort: words and poetry
as much as i want to succeed
i want a family
i want to share life with a woman
who wants me for me
who loves me for me
i want to go through hardships together
and come out victoriously
because we have each other
i want to share life with a woman
in a world that is so unaccepting and cold
judgment and ignorance aside
i dont need that in my life
because if i can be happy
who the fuck cares what they think
i have spent so many years miserable
and now i know what i want to be happy
i will get it
because i go after what i search for
a life with a woman
who wants me for me
who loves me for me
because i sure will
want and love her back
as much as, if not more, what she feels for me

When The Well Runs Dry

It’s not impossible to love someone
who is heartbroken over someone else
i did it, im a living proof to how
that can be done
i couldnt have done better
although i made mistakes along the way
im a caregiver, thats just my nature
but the caregiver needs to be cared for
loved, and appreciated
And when the well runs dry
tears start to fall
you live and you learn
i deserve to be cared for

Gift

today i bought u a gift
it was small, yet nontheless a gift
i thought it was fitting, and im sure it is
one of ur favorite smells, incense sticks
my thoughts went like this
since ull be cleaning and moving things around
a comforting smell should be able to help
i thought you would appreciate it
i thought you would be pleasantly surprised
i thought, i thought
and then we argued
heated, emotions running wild
frustration, frowns and furrowed brows
u hop in the car said u dont want to talk
the gift was already in my car, one which i gave much thought
i grabbed it bc i wanted you to have it
despite our conflict, i still wanted u to have it
a sense of comfort, a note to tell you that im still here
a gentle reminder, that i still care
yet u rolled up ur window
said u didnt want it
i stood there with the small gift
fingers wrapped around my gift
for you
you said u didnt want it
barely looked at it
my thoughts and effort invisible
as you drove away, left me in the dust
still i let you know that im still here
texted you, showing that i care
then you tell me you dont want it
dont want me and you
not to mention that gift for you
am i a fool
or am i just too naive to
just realize that im all too disposable
thinking back on when we first started
you convinced me, i thought you were it
you were what i was looking for
i didnt want to look anymore
am i a fool
still holding on to this gift that was meant for u
u told me u dont want it
i guess thats it. everytime you want to leave
i try so hard to change ur mind
this time i realize
i dont want to be disposable anymore
giving, giving, then simply tossed aside
i supported u through one of the hardest times of your life
i spoke up tonight, because i needed to speak my mind
u told me ur glad i expressed
yet look at where i land
just alone in my bed
am i a fool or what
so much thought put into that little gift
that u did not want

Dont Slip

everyday, just trying to survive
living another day, living a foreign life
stuck in the liminal, stuck in a strife
giving, giving, then so simply tossed aside
day in and day out i grind
mentally, emotionally, people dont realize
life of a migrant, a life full of pride
filled with accomplishment, yet so much died
when i left home, comfort was ripped from my heart
what i knew of, what i knew of life
became irrevalent when now i have to abide
to new rules, new language, new people in a foreign city
i adapt and i change, never enough to fit in
i am not one of them, i never will be
it is so tempting to leave and say goodbye
go back to a land that knows me, one where my heart lies
life of a migrant, full of dilemmas and questions
i left home and family behind
for what? a better future?
it is from a great set of privileges that i am able to ask that
my country is not war-torn, at least i can just fly
home and still be able to see my family
enough crying, enough tears
this pain will never disappear
but im gonna turn off the faucet, turn off my fears
i did the unimagineable, when i left home: now 7 years
i have moved every year in the past 11 years
comfort to me is subjective
what i think im losing, will be found
i choose to believe because it is what i need
to survive another day
in this foreign atmosphere
i cant go home
ive come too far just to rely on my comfort zone
i need to succeed. my familys dreams rest upon my
aching back
i will succeed, i have to, theres no turning back.
comfort is subjective. Vic, you gotta rember that.
self respect and self worth
dont slip now, theres so much to discover