Bleeding ink

Sorting through pages in my head
ink bleeding off each page
each word, each sentence, each phrase
play repeatedly over and over again
the stanzas look nice
the transitions sound smooth
the title, captivating
the paragraphs, i glide through
memories of each opening chapter replay
pain, hurt, anguish display
each character involved swam through this anecdote
each one had a particular role to play
now will this be a comedy show
or end up tragic, protagonists on death row
i have only lines and a bit of rhyme
to combat this anxiety, a shifted paradigm
since last night
when i read the opening line
when i read body language
observed the party
ended up crying
ink bleeding off each page
merciless, dripping off each page
ink is seeping through my brain
rolling effortlessly down the drain
i took a shower and it felt nice
the steam, took my mind of things
for a few minutes i was free of this inkling
a new knowledge recently acquired
from flipping through this narrative
for a few minutes i was free
before I dried myself
and came back to reality

Good lover

For a while I had hope
For some time I thought I could settle
For reasons I thought I’d stop looking
For what I thought could be love, I kept trying

For 11 months I thought we could do 12
For 6 months for you it was hell
For every tear you dropped, I cried too
For every up and down, I held on to you

For every break up, came a heartbreak
For every night you didn’t want me
For every time you didn’t want to be held
For those cuddles and kisses that dispelled

Thinking back
I did all I could
I did everything right
flowers, balloon, surprise
moving, mouse, cat
tv, game, paint
cooking, cleaning, games

I think I’m a good lover
and I loved so hard.
Too hard, was that the problem.

New Year’s Day

Stopped by the lake just to sit for a while
finally my swirling head stops pounding
and my racing thoughts begin to rest
blueberry bagel, warm coffee
instead of sadness, i feel still
like this lake water, just sitting there
free of ripples, waves
no ups, no downs
still like this big tree
with no leaves but still standing
if only the weather was warmer
i would have taken a walk
but its ok, i dont mind beginning this year
with a poem in the car.