Mouse in the house

theres a mouse in the house
this mouse is small
this mouse is quick
this mouse picks out trash
and shred it to pieces
this mouse smiles
this mouse can laugh
this mouse is cheery
until you double cross my path
my fangs wont show
my claws wont stretch
but i will remember
what you said wont be put to rest
the mouse caught your tongue i guess
because my very existence
reminded you to call my name
you need my existence
to prove you have something to your game
wherever i go
people will call
me by whatever name
they deem deserving of a call
rising above
takes you to a certain place
but not enough
to bring back your name


I’m fucking exhausted, I’m a tired “other”
every gaze and pound of pressure grate on my shoulders
my neck is cramping while my period blood bleeds
Winning an argument is what everyone needs
Surviving alone I’ve held my tongue long
too long and now phlegm gush out when I have my mouth closed
Year after year I heeded to everyone’s oblivion
never once did someone try to seek out my jargon
pain is as disappointing as anger is throbbing
my vein pulses with silent resolve also anxiety
how far I’ve come to learn how to defend
my core, alone, over, and over again

Inspired by “The Danger of a Single Story”- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

“What is Otherness?”
What is Otherness?


Growth is as painful
as it is inevitable
I look up and the sun is out
I look down and the sidewalk brown
one foot over another
one step above the other
No corner to cut
No shorcut to make
my hands are chained
together by deep sadness
but unlike before
I hold the key to these handcuffs
in my mind
just as the sun is out
the sidewalk brown
my reality
real as it is
can go down different paths
whether I choose to unlock
or not
whether I choose to walk
or fly
i beg myself
to remember that key in my mind


My breath is coffee
and my tongue is anguished
my eyes are half-open
my mind already anxious

Oil sizzles and steam rises
the door to my kitchen is always open
but they spoke, said they’re not coming in
because earlier, I wasn’t there for them

my temporary joy, so carefully collected
vanished like smoothly blown vapor
from a round dinner table with hometown slang
to an adrenaline injection in the stem of my brain

kicked in
I have never felt anger
quite like that before

all logic out the door
all control…

Decimated last night
pieces of happiness and remembrance vanished
while my breath is still coffee
and my tongue still anguished.